THE SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK NOOS

Ladies and gents, I bring you a short film by moi. It features:

TIP: If you have a slow computer, let the vid load before playing. Still probs? Roll over the vid and turn off HD.

Zephyr from Noodle on Vimeo.

TRACK 1: HITCHCOCK RAILWAY - JOE COCKER{play}

The noise, the noise! I’m all Quiet Riot and feelin’ it like the world’s worst cover band. I turn my face to the gods of sound above. I beg, I beseech you—release me from this wretched spawn of yours, this child called Noise.

Can you see it, dear reader? Can you see the Noise?

Look there, as it slithers on the floor of my sleeper car. Right there, see it? No, no! Don’t look directly or it’ll snake you good. Just use that special corner-of-your-eye vision.

See. There it is. It’s doing its best impression of a live wire, cruelly cut and crying. Zapping, dancing its jolly jig upon the cheap carpet. Look. See it how it forms the word shiver and eagerly looks for a spine to run up. For the spine is the path, the power and the glory, forever and ever, amen.

“The path to what?” I ask.

“Your last nerve,” it hisses. “I must use your spine as an organic conduit to your ear. There I will scratch my whine and squawk and creek-e-craw down the chalkboard of your eardrum, until that last nerve of yours is more frayed than the cord of your 70s dressing gown.”

How rude!

But man, what a racket, what a din. What a world-class noise!

As the California Zephyr pulls out from the comfortable snuggle of the Oakland station, I sit and get all grouchified in my traveling compartment. Just me and my Noise.

It is day one.

It is day one of my great big train whore across America. Eastward ho! All aboard! Read the rest of this entry »