THE SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK NOOS » death

It’s a dangerous land

17 12 2002

The TV is trying to tell me…something. I’m sitting here, discount viagra order the countdown for departure to the new world has begun, buy cialis and for some reason the TV has taken it upon itself to let me know all about the dangerous territory I’m heading for. If I am to believe everything that I see on the tube—which of course I do since it is the supreme educator of educators—this is what I know.

According to the National Geographic channel, if I want to get eaten by a bear, I need to pack my rucksack for, well, Montana or some such place. Bear county. To fit in with other Americans in this instance, I must wear inadequate clothing for a hike, leave food scattered around my campsite, get way too close with my Nikon, then stupidly run like the clappers screaming and such when the lumbering beast decides I look pretty damn tasty. I can do that. I can make myself look pretty tasty.

The Discovery Channel informs me, in its own way, that if I want to roll the dice with the Richter scale I should go to LA. Yes, I should go to this City of Angels, this ‘Hollywood’ I’ve heard so much about, and rent an apartment in a building with what is known as ’soft foundations’. Then, should my number come up, I might get crushed in my sleep when the whole lot pancakes down on me in The Big One. Ah, I didn’t want to go there anyway. Read the rest of this entry »






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